IT was Hallowe'en weekend on the box, and Buffy was getting more of a mauling from Jonathan Ross on his chat show (BBC1, Friday) than she ever faced from the vampires.

Wossie was in fine form, as he teased and bated Sarah Michelle Gellar, who obviously wasn't sure if she was dealing with a friend or foe. She alternated between laughing with and berating Ross, at one point commenting that he seemed to be talking in a different language.

Quick as a flash, Ross retorted: "Yes - it's English!"

Towards the end of the interview - during which the American blonde had shown she could probably bore for her country (no mean feat) - the cheeky chappie even tried to tell her she was one of the more intelligent US actresses he had met. I'm surprised his pants didn't combust there and then!

Earlier the new series of 'Have I Got News For You' (BBC1) continued with the Scottish 'goblin', Robin Cook, in the chair. It was fitting that one of the questions alluded to the discovery of a 'hobbit' skeleton during the week!

By Saturday night Holby was the scene of a haunting, as the ghost of Kwame hovered in the background in 'Casualty' (BBC1). Yes, the body of Fin was identified, and Comfort reacted by stealing an ambulance and buying a bottle of vodka. Fortunately, one look at Fin's beaming face in a photograph persuaded her that she didn't need the help of alcohol to carry on.

Abs certainly needed a stiff drink after the harpie from the Ukraine suggested he marry her so that she could stay in the country. On past experience he is just stupid enough to fall for the 'damsel in distress' scenario, despite the fact that we can all see that the woman is more Transylvanian than Ukrainian. Watch out for the fangs, nurse boy!

Over on ITV1 the wrinkled relic that is Parky dug up a couple of serial guests for Hallowe'en. Dames Edna Everage and Judi Dench have been on the interviewee side of the Parkinson set so many times they must have squatters' rights.

Sharon Osbourne made up the 'coven' of 'ladies', and her tales of trying to run over her father in her car and near strangulation at the hands of ancient rocker husband Ozzy sounded just like the plot for a horror movie. The woman is a glutton for punishment - after all who in their right mind would agree to be 'piggy in the middle' between Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh in 'The X Factor'? And it's no good thinking that teeny little dog will protect you from the dark forces around you, Mrs Ozzy!

SOAP POSER:

YOU have to love Liz McDonald in 'Corrie', don't you? What other soap granny would be walking around in a mini-skirt with a red feather style hair decoration? The feisty redhead has now appointed herself as dopey Shelley's chief protector, so if I was Charlie I'd be afraid - very afraid!